Posts Tagged ‘love’

We don’t care if we cause a commotion

Remember the dress I wanted?  Well I finally got it today!  I love it so much.  I cannot wait to rock out at the Green Day concert in this thing.

Just for funsies:


Funny how a haircut can do that

The other night I told Mom that I would go out and get something for myself to eat, and maybe go to Wal-Mart. I thought I would be going alone, because I love driving around alone. Mom asked if I was taking anyone else, and I said no, but I texted Erin and asked if she was busy, and she was. Mom then said that she wanted to go with me, but was getting a weird vibe from me. I didn’t care if she went with me. Mom started crying because she thought I didn’t want her to go because I didn’t want to be around her.

She’s so insecure about herself, and I wish she could see how great she is. She thinks she’s boring, I think she’s the funnest person I know. She thinks she’s ugly, I think she’s beautiful. She thinks nobody likes her, and I know that everyone loves her because she’s a great mom and an awesome person to be around. 

Friday night, Mom and I went to the mall to buy some pajamas for her. Dad was in a bad mood, which always puts Mom in a bad mood. She had one of those insecure moments again in the car on the way to the mall. She was crying and saying that no one cared about her, and that she hates that I’m going to have to take care of her. She also said that she has cancer. That’s what made me start crying. I waited until she calmed down to ask about it, and she said that what was on her ovaries was cancerous. But she also said that this surgery will probably take care of it, since it hasn’t spread. It still scared me, and we hugged and made our way into JC Penny.

After we checked out, Mom looked over and saw a salon in the store. She had been wanting to get her hair cut short for a long time, especially since she has a surgery coming up and she’ll be in bed for 6 weeks. She asked if I wanted to get out of there, or if I was okay with letting her get her hair cut. Of course I wanted her to get her hair cut, because I figured that it would make her feel better, and it did. I sat next to her and watched as the hairdresser cut off her long braid and shorten her hair to only a few inches. As her hair was being cut, my mom just got happier and brighter.

When we walked out, she had a big smile on, and said that she felt so good, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. I had hoped that that feeling would last, but I guess it didn’t. I really hope that soon she finds out how great she is, and maybe after she recovers from surgery and starts feeling better, she will.

Countdown to College

Today I received another letter from another college.  I’ve been getting letters from colleges all year.  At first, it was kind of cool and special to get my own mail and to learn about all these colleges that I’ve never heard of.  But now it’s just old, and they usually go right in the recycle bin.  The one I got today is from Elmhurst College.  Whether I’m interested in a college or not usually starts with where it is located.  I would rather go to school somewhere close to home.  If the school’s address is in a town I’ve never heard of, I pull up Google Earth and type it in.  Turns out that Elmurst is close to Chicago, which is too far for me.

There are a few reasons why I want to go to college somewhere that is close to here.  First, I wouldn’t want to feel too intimidated or lonely, and I’m afraid that that would happen if I was in a town I had never been to.  Second, if Matt and I are still together, it would definitely be a factor in considering how far from home I want to go.  He wants to go to a school that isn’t too far from here, and he has already said that he probably wouldn’t want to try a long-distance relationship.  I know that some people might say that I shouldn’t decide where to go based on my boyfriend, and I understand that.  But by the time we graduate, we will have been together for 3 years.  If we can make it that long, then maybe we could do a long-distance relationship, but if it’s not something he wants, I have to decide between him and a school that’s far away.  I guess that’s something to think about when I get there, but all of these college brochures are telling me that I have to start figuring out what I want now!

Elmhurst is offering to send me a booklet called Countdown to College (hence the name of this post) and I guess I would like that.  I need all the help I can get.  When it comes to high school requirements, I’m pretty sure I have everything I need.  By graduation, I will have been in AFJROTC for 4 years, and that will probably look good on a resume.  Also, this year I’m taking AP U.S. History and College Prep English.  Actually, this year will probably have the biggest course load that I’ll have in high school.  Am I nervous?  Nah……maybe.